MY MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE
MY MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE
A DAILY DEVOTIONAL
FRIDAY, JULY 26, 2024
NIYI ODUNSI
YOUR FAMILIES’ INTERFERENCE
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
One of the reasons why marriages fail in Africa and Asia mainly, is the interference of the couple’s families in the marriage. This is really a cultural issue and this is why it may not be that much of a problem in Western nations where children become independent as soon as they become adults and sometimes they leave home and may never see their parents ever again.
In Africa and Asia, families play a huge role in the development of children and there’s a bond that develops to include even extended families. When children mature and move away from home, they remain connected to their families and are often responsible for the financial upkeep of their aged parents. When sons get married, their wives become members of the son’s family.
This arrangement is often assumed to be the norm and so, it is hardly discussed before marriage. People forget that they grew up in different homes and as a result, their experience of family interference in marriages may not be the same. In some families, once a member gets married, it is immediately recognized that they now belong to another home and so they are left alone to run their new home. In other families, this is not the case.
The ideal of course is what we see in our theme verse. A man is to leave his father and mother and start a new family with his wife. Parents on both sides are to steer clear and not attempt to help the new couple to run their home. I must say that most of the time, challenges come from the Groom’s mother who sometimes feel they have to compete with the young bride for their son’s love.
Well, it is crucial that these matters are discussed before marriage. Every family has its own dynamics and the couple should carefully observe what obtains in their future spouse’s family. Where a man is still attached to his mother or a daughter is still attached to her father, that is clearly a red flag and it shouldn’t be ignored. It’s one thing to honour one’s parents but this shouldn’t translate to meddlesome in-laws.
If the person with the attachment problems is aware that there would be a challenge after marriage and is willing to deal decisively with the imminent challenge, then the partner may decide to go on with the relationship. If the opposite is however the case, the partner has to decide if they can cope with a meddlesome mother or father in law. If they cannot, then clearly, its time to move on.
PRAYER
I thank you Lord Jesus for the blessings of families and for the privilege of joining another family through marriage. I ask for grace to relate with my in-laws in humility, giving them the honour due to them as the parents of my spouse in a way that will glorify your Name continually. Thank you Lord. Amen.
FURTHER STUDY
Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 6:2-3