DID YOU AGREE…?
Did you agree before you got married?
Well, what kind of a question is that? Of course, you agreed. I mean, you’re married aren’t you? Would you be married if you hadn’t agreed?
Hold your horses! You see, over the years I have discovered that most couples that end up in failing or failed marriages didn’t really agree before they got married.
What do I mean?
In all probability, you wouldn’t agree to take a job without knowing the conditions of service would you? You’d like to know the salary to start with. Any allowances? You would ask. Any perks? You know the drill.
In most organizations, you have to put your signature to a document that says you agree to the terms and conditions of service. As it were, what you have is a contract of employment. The employer has its obligations and you, the employee have your own obligations.
Except for desperate people, most folks tend to shop around for the job that offers them the best. Sometimes, you may even take a job, knowing you’re still shopping. It’s not your Eldorado. The minute something better comes along, you’re off to greener pastures, so to speak.
This is even more so in today’s cut-throat business world. Hardly do you find people spending all their lives in one job anymore. People tend to be mobile. You can’t blame anyone for wanting the best.
What’s my point?
Do you realize that most people spend more time discussing and agreeing to their terms and conditions of Employment than they do discussing their terms and conditions of marriage?!
Now I’ve lost you! Terms and conditions of marriage?
Well, marriage is a covenant my friend. It’s an Agreement between two people. It’s a contract. Only a fool would enter into a contract without discussing and having a full understanding of the terms of the contract.
If you go to a Lawyer complaining that there has been a breach of contract, the first thing he will likely ask you for, is a copy of the contract. That is the basis or the foundation of your rights.
When it comes to marriage, what happens is that when people are in ‘love’, they are so blinded by infatuation that they stupidly believe that they will live happily ever after!
To start with honey, love won’t pay the rent! There are about 90 questions that have to be asked and truthfully answered during courtship before a couple should even consider getting engaged.
‘What if we are Christians and we both really love the Lord? Won’t the Lord just do it for us?’
Do what? Jesus said it’s not smart for anyone to start constructing a building without counting the cost. That means planning. In marriage, that means coming to an agreement about your future with your partner.
When people don’t agree on a lot of stuff before getting married, it’s not strange that a few years down the road they are going to be bickering.
Do you know that some folks get married without having an agreement as to how many kids they will have? I mean what if the husband is a football coach and he’s planning to have eleven boys so he can have his own team?
What if she loves dogs and really isn’t into children? (You think that’s crazy? I’ve seen crazier stuff!)
Your marriage is obviously more important than your job isn’t it? (If your job is more important than your marriage, I will suggest that you consider getting married to your job. That way, you won’t be responsible for breaking someone’s heart someday) Well, if you won’t take a job without coming to an agreement with your Employers, how can you get married without coming to an agreement with your spouse?
Oh no! I’m not asking you to get a lawyer to draw up a marriage contract to be signed sealed and delivered. I’m not talking about a Pre-Nuptial Agreement either ( If you live in the United States, you’re excluded)
It is wise to sit down with your partner and come to an agreement as to your expectations in marriage. The benefits of doing this are eternal, I guarantee you. The benefits of staring into each other’s eyes and muttering sweet nothings into each other’s ears will be for about two years. The choice is yours.