MARRIAGE, ADULTERY, MASTURBATION AND PORNOGRAPHY(3)

 

WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE DIVORCE OPTION? Keep on reading: She tried but couldn’t. Then she met Luke at work. Initially, they were just colleagues, they met at the Staff Restaurant and they got talking. Luke was Mr. Universe with bulging muscles, a handsome face and a charming personality. He was into music, a producer, although he wasn’t into Gospel music. Soon, Mary began to wonder what life would have been like, if she’d married someone like Luke. Luke was single and although he had a girlfriend, he took a liking to Mary. One day, Mary had an argument with John and she was miserable as she left home. She couldn’t focus at work and Luke noticed. He invited her out to Lunch and she poured out her heart at a Restaurant outside the office. Luke wasn’t a Believer and he wanted Mary. To him, her husband was a fool to ill-treat Mary, she deserved a better man. That was the beginning of their affair.

The affair between Mary and Luke continued for almost a year before Luke was transferred to Port-Harcourt. Mary couldn’t bear it. She had spoken to Luke about getting a divorce so they could get married but he said he needed more time.  One weekend, Mary told John she had a Retreat in Port-Harcourt and she took a flight to spend the Week-end with Luke. She walked into Luke’s bedroom to find another woman in his arms. He wasn’t apologetic. She was a married woman and he couldn’t have her anytime he wanted her. What was he to do?

Mary ran out of the apartment, checked into a hotel, cried her eyes out and came back to Lagos on Sunday evening. Angry, bitter and disappointed she decided she needed to start life all over again. At the root of Mary’s disappointment and anger was a lingering doubt as to whether she had not missed God’s plan for her life. Deep within her, she thought she could have been living a happier and a more fulfilled life if she had married the right man. “I keep thinking that life is passing me bye,” she confided in me amidst tears of regrets.

By the end of my session with Mary, I felt it would help the couple if I had the opportunity to hear from both sides, and I explained this to Mary. She pleaded with me not to mention her infidelity to John. John would be devastated and would become vengeful and vindictive. The divorce would be messy and would scar their children for life. I reminded her that we had signed a Confidentiality Agreement. I couldn’t speak of it, even if I wanted to.

On a rainy and very wet day, John found his way to my office. He had called on phone to confirm the appointment Mary had helped him fix. On the phone, he sounded pleasant and relieved that his wife had consulted a Christian lawyer for divorce. Since I had not told his wife I couldn’t prosecute the divorce, I told John I was just interested in hearing his own story before deciding if it was really over between them.

Because of the heavy rain, I thought he wouldn’t make the appointment. I was, however, relieved when my secretary buzzed me to announce him. He stood about five feet, nine inches tall and looked older than his age. His carriage and mannerisms were that of an elderly man as he sat in front of me. He looked worried. His eyes were red and tired from apparent lack of sleep. My heart went out to him. This was a man going through a very tough time.

He apologized for coming late but nearly destabilized me when he asked directly if I believed in divorce, being a Christian.

I avoided the question, explaining to him that my beliefs were irrelevant since it was not my marriage that was in issue. He seemed to understand and apologized again. After asking him a few probing questions, he opened up.  John was sexually active before he met Mary, even though he was a Christian. He had just broken up a relationship with another lady (also a Christian) when he met Mary. He said he wasn’t sure that she was God’s choice for him. Now he wondered if he hadn’t made a mistake breaking up with her.