Getting married? Hire a Detective


And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren”(Gen 29:31)

I have often advised young men and women who are engaged to take out time to visit with and get to know their future in-laws. Our theme verse is about Jacob and his two barren wives. When the Lord saw that Jacob hated Leah, He opened her womb so she could conceive. But Rachael remained Barren.

How did Jacob end up with two barren wives? It didn’t start with Jacob. Sarah, Jacob’s Grandma was barren. Even after the promise of a seed to Abraham, it took Sarah 25years to conceive. Then Rebekah, Jacob’s mother was also barren. Isaac had to entreat the Lord before the Lord opened her womb.

Some have suggested that the reason why Jesse, King David’s father didn’t arrange for David to be present when Samuel came to anoint one of his Sons as King was because David was the product of an illegitimate union. David himself would commit adultery and murder the adulteress’s husband to marry her. Then he married Abigail soon after Nabal, her husband died. If David’s father was adulterous, then the apple didn’t fall far from that tree.

There’s an account of a most inspiring family in the New Testament. Apostle Paul, writing to Timothy in his second Epistle, spoke of the unfeigned Faith which dwelt in his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice and was now in Timothy. This is a testimony of a family of faith, running through three generations.

In the old days, in some parts of Africa, a man’s family would not approve of a lady as their future daughter in law until discreet investigations were made into her family to find out if there were any negative patterns. If it was discovered that there was any Divorce in the lady’s family, the man’s family would not allow the union as it was believed that there was a high probability that the lady would also walk out on their son in time.

If some young folks had taken some time to enquire into patterns in the family of their future spouse, they wouldn’t be in the mess that they’re in today. Unfortunately, people sometimes dive headlong into the pool of marriage only to find the pool empty. Most people are led by the flesh and not by the Spirit

If you’re one of those in trouble today because you didn’t know do the needful, well, don’t give up. In Christ, there’s hope. Christ is your riddance. Your spouse doesn’t have to follow the negative pattern in their family. Once the negative pattern is acknowledged, it can be handled with the right prayers and godly wisdom.


I thank you Father, for leading and directing me in the way that I should go. I refuse to be led by my senses in the area of choosing my spouse. I thank you for guiding me into all truth concerning my life partner and for revealing to me, any negative patterns in their family. Amen.



1 Samuel 25:39, 2Sam 11, Gen 25:21, 2Timothy 1:5